Podcast Notes: Embracing Change

February 18, 2019

  Happy Monday! I hope you guys had a great weekend! I had a super lazy weekend. And by lazy I mean I sat on my couch most of the time, and caught up on Netflix shows. I’ve been inadvertently watching Greenleaf – I’m not sure if I actually like it, like it yet lol, […]

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I'm the host of the Slay Girl Slay podcast and Founder of Slay Girl Slay. I am so excited that you're here, and I hope you enjoy the show boo!

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Happy Monday! I hope you guys had a great weekend! I had a super lazy weekend. And by lazy I mean I sat on my couch most of the time, and caught up on Netflix shows. I’ve been inadvertently watching Greenleaf – I’m not sure if I actually like it, like it yet lol, it was recommended to me by several people. It seems good, it’s just a lot going on – like I feel like I’m watching a Tyler Perry show. But it’s good, I’m just not 100% sold on it (it is getting good though). A few people told me to hang on and keep watching so we’ll see if it gets good. But that’s about it, that’s what I did, I chilled out, ate food, and it was super chill.

I received and email from one of our listeners, and it was such a sweet email. I won’t read the entire email for the sake of her privacy, but will share some of what was said in that email. It was super sweet, she reached out and let me know that based on episodes from last year, and really taking a minute to write down her goals and decide on what she wants to do with her life – she’s decided to pack her bags and move to another city! Which is so exciting, and she said she was inspired to just go after it, and my heart felt so warm because I know what that feels like. But at the very end of her email she asked if I had any advice for her while she was on this new journey, and I think during my big move there was one underlying theme that I failed to recognize when I first moved – but is still prevalent today. And that theme was learning how to “move with change“.


Embracing Change

As I was emailing her back and sending her my advice, it made me think about all the times where I was faced with a change in my life, and I did not embrace that change. You don’t necessarily have to be moving to a new city and uprooting your life to face change. Change happens every day. Change happens at work, within your teams. Change happens within your families. Change can happen in your relationships. And I can only speak for myself, but I am terrible at accepting change.

I am a creature of habit so I like things to go the same way they always go you know? I know that A+B will always end up being C at the end of the day, so when things start to change and it doesn’t look like the way I’m use to seeing or doing it – I freeze up. I get frustrated, I panic. I get really stressed out, and I just hated change. Still do kind of.

But the more I resisted the change, and the more I decided to stay still instead of moving with that change, the harder it was for me to adjust. The harder it was for me to be relaxed, and not let everything bother me. When I first moved, I was telling myself, “Oh yeah it’s going to be different, everything is going to be new, everything will be fine, I’ll adjust. Right?” Wrong.

I wen’t to the grocery store my 3rd day here, and went into the store, and had never stepped foot into this grocery store, so my usual hot sauce wasn’t in the same aisle. My chips that I love are not by the pop and juice aisle anymore. They don’t even carry the same seasonings I’m used to using on my food. So after getting so overwhelmed in the store, I had to go back outside, sit down on the steps, call my mom, and ended up sobbing on the phone – because everything was truly different. The people were different. When I opened my eyes, my room looked different. The local stores were different. The streets were different everything.

And it wasn’t until I started to “move with this big change” instead of against it, I started to feel better. We are in full swing right now of smashing goals, and knocking things off of our game plan for this year – and with anything in life, especially if you are trying to get from one level to the next – there will be a significant change in your life.

Things won’t look how they use to. People won’t be the same person they were at the beginning of the year, as opposed to how they end the year. Your relationships may change this year. Your job may change this year. Your life, can very well change this year.
Change looks like moving across the country. Change looks like getting a new job. A promotion. A breakup. Losing a family member. Gaining a new team member at work that you don’t necessarily care for. Changing your eating habits to lose weight. Trying to become something you’ve never seen before.


Becoming Something You’ve Never Seen Before

But it’s how you decide to move with these changes – is what will make all the difference. As I was writing back to our listener, I told her – look boo, it’s going to be SCARY AF, but embrace that scary feeling. Because there is no growth without change. And since we are ever evolving, and growing, and never wanting to be the same person we were last week, last month, last year – we will only be successful in that growth if we can move with that change and not resist it.

Because then we’re letting change work for us & benefit us.

So I know you’re like Ash, how do I embrace change? How do I move with change and allow it to happen, and was 1. Develop a New Perspective. You can’t grow as a person, with the same mindset. Your perspective has to change. The very minute I felt like I was loosing control over a situation in my life, or my life as a whole when I moved was mentally saying – this is not supposed to look like how it used to. You are not supposed to move or think how you used to. Flow with it. What can I learn from this? How can I adjust to this? And consistently asking myself those questions when I felt opposition. When I felt stressed because my grocery store looked nothing like the one at home. Instead of freaking out, and going outside to cry from being overwhelmed.

I’d also recommend to live with uncertainty.

The only thing that you should be certain about, is the love you have for others, the love you have for yourself, the goals you’ve setup for yourself, and the dreams you want to see happen. All the other stuff, we’re just moving through. I am always living in a space of being uncertain when it comes to relationships, jobs, etc. Because I can’t go into them thinking – this will be the exact same, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I’d be naïve to say, my life will look the same, tomorrow, the next day, and the next day – because I don’t know what will happen right? I can make a good guess, but I’m not sure what tomorrow looks like for anything In my life, I can only account for today. So living with that piece of uncertainty, and realizing that the only constant in life, is the change that I see happening has forced me to put my big girl pants on, and not fear the unknown. I can only control my today, I can’t control tomorrow or the next day, and I think that there is great comfort in that.


Be A Chameleon

So you know what chameleons are, those little ugly reptiles that can touch a surface of something, and naturally blend in with whatever surface they touch? I want you to think of that ability to adapt to something new, something different, like that of a chameleon. Being able to just look at a situation for what it is, and not let it hurt you, or worry you, or cause fear in your hearts – but to adapt to it, and adjust. I think adaptability is a huge trait to have, something I think all jobs are looking for – someone who can adjust quickly to change. In today’s society with social media, things are changing so fast, every single day, and you can’t get frustrated when you think you have it all figured out for your brand or your business, and then the you look up and there’s something totally new that people are doing and using on their profiles.

Stay quick with it. The sooner you can adapt to a situation, the sooner you adjust.

The sooner you let go of trying to control a situation, or a person, or an issue in your life, and can start moving with the changes that are happening instead of against it, the sooner you can get back to enjoying your day.

Never get complacent. Never get to a spot where things always have to be the same way they were, and look the same and feel the same. On my first trip back to Chicago after I moved, someone asked me what did I miss the most about living at home with my family, and I said the familiarity. Being familiar with the people I knew, the places I went, the things I did every day. And it’s that same familiarity that can keep people from reaching their full potential as women, and leaders, as bosses, as mothers, as the person you were destined to be.

Always be ready & willing to adjust and move with the changes that are happening around you and to you.

As many times as I struggled with change, and wanting so desperately to feel that “familiar” feeling I use to have. There is nothing greater than constantly living in a state of growth. Growth is hard ya’ll but remember when we throw up these quotes about this woman we’re becoming? And how

A lot of us don’t realize that being able to move with change allows us to go through what I like to call the process. Their is a process in everything in life. There is a process in buying a home, a process in becoming an entrepreneur, a process in being a mom, a process in going back to school – everything has a process that comes with it. And the quicker we can realize that and say, this change, this state that i am in, is all apart of the process, this state of the unknown is all apart of the change that needed to happen in my life..the better our transition will be from good to great.

Because the transition from good to great is rough ya’ll – but if you can refuse to let it defeat you, and move with that energy – what was once so hard, difficult, and different in the beginning – will then look nothing short of a milestone at the end.


Featured Image: @ijeomakola

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I believe that no matter what barriers, road blocks, or mind traps we have infront of us - we can still go far and achieve the things we want to achieve. I believe that the dreams & goals we have aren't just placed in our hearts by chance. There is a reason they are there. I'm here to help you figure that out.

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I'm Ashley, host of the SGS Podcast, advice giver, and best friend in your head.

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