Podcast Notes: You Attract What You Are

April 1, 2019

Featured Image: @cocobassey Hey Girl Hey! Hoping everyone had a great weekend this weekend! I took time off this weekend, and got a mani/pedi…I use to get acrylics but I would get so addicted to them, and then my actual nails were so weak. So the past year or so I’ve been just getting gel […]

i'm ashley!

I'm the host of the Slay Girl Slay podcast and Founder of Slay Girl Slay. I am so excited that you're here, and I hope you enjoy the show boo!

hey boo,

Featured Image: @cocobassey

Hey Girl Hey!

Hoping everyone had a great weekend this weekend! I took time off this weekend, and got a mani/pedi…I use to get acrylics but I would get so addicted to them, and then my actual nails were so weak. So the past year or so I’ve been just getting gel manicures/ or what some people call no chips and ya’ll I get the same 2 colors every time. I look at that little nail wheel they give you with all the colors so you can pick and girlfriend ends up getting either pink or white…I might get fancy every blue moon and bust out a red or some sort of nude color – but my nails have never been green, purple, blue, it’s just not my ministry lol. I know I’m not the only one that’s like that, but I’m so happy I just took a day to myself and did what I needed to do.

You guys don’t let these Insta-famous people tell you, you don’t need to take a day, a mental day, to yourself just to recharge. You absolutely do. You can’t pour into whatever it is you’re trying to make happen for yourself 365 days a year, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You will get burnt out sis! The hustle can wait 24 hours if need be. So i hope that this weekend you had some time to yourself before you kick back into gear this week. Or maybe you take a day or two next weekend and relax, go see a movie, and gather yourself before hitting the ground running again. I always see these big time instagramers who are like, I grind every day all day, the hustle is sold separately, team no breaks, and it’s like…okay. Relax. While they are right, the hustle is infinite, and there is a lot of sacrifice that has to be made to get to where you want to go…you should absolutely give yourself recharge time. I needed this weekend to relax, and to chill, and shut my brain off “go mode” for a little while, and take in my surroundings, do something for me that I liked, because how can I pour into my business, how can I pour into this podcast, into you guys, if I am not my 100% best self when it’s time to work?

So I’m at the mall this weekend, it was 81 in LA this weekend, and majority of the malls out here are outdoor. So i called my mom, and I’m just like mom today’s such a great day, my energy is so high, not physical energy in the sense of my body being tired, but mental energy, my emotional energy was high. My vibration high and I was operating at high frequency. I was in such a good mood, that when I was getting a pedicure, and the lady was taking forever to come do my pedicure, and the water got cold. Instead of having an attitude, and making rude comments. I kindly asked if she could run more hot water, and let her know that I’d been waiting for a while and would like to start. If i had not been operating at a high frequency, and sustaining myself on that level of good every…I would have had an attitude. I would have been pissed. I probably could of let that attitude direct the rest of my day. So when I’m on the phone with my mom, and I’m like you know so many good decisions are made when you operate at a high frequency. You’re energy is positive, your attitude is positive, you make really good decisions, you have good thoughts, you have better ideas, your creativity is better – and essentially we should always be trying to get and stay on this level.


Attraction & Manifesting

If you are feeling down, you’re having negative thoughts, you’re not in the best mood, what comes back to you is negativity, drama, that feeling of unhappiness. If you are choosing to feel happy, choosing positivity, choosing not to subscribe to the bad thoughts that pop up in your mind, what comes back to you? That feeling of happiness. Positivity, and your brain recognizing the good in everything. Life is happening around you and to you everyday, and life will not stop happening. Life is getting up in the morning not feeling it, and wanting to go back to bed. Life is when other people are purposefully rude and unkind to you. Life is getting to work and working with people that you just don’t like. Life is paying bills. Life is hustling. Life is grinding. Life happens. But it’s how we choose to deal with that life, and how we decide to let life affect us.

Some people call it attracting, some people call it manifesting, some people call it is acting “AS IF” or speaking it “INTO EXISTENCE”. If you have an image of this woman you want to be in your head, and this woman is confident, this woman is strong, this woman is healthy and she’s sexy, and she’s financially stable. But when you look around, you see the same ol’ same ol’, same ol’ job, same ol’ routine, how do you bring forth this confident, powerful, sexy woman you want to be, and can see in your mind? I can tell you – you start living confidently, you start standing in that power, you start living a healthy life, and doing things that make you feel sexy, and not spending your coins so that you can be financially stable – and guess what – you become her. Your same ol same ol begins to change when you walk into meetings with your head held high, and you raise your hand to speak up instead of sitting there quietly. Your “same old same old” changes when you start taking vitamins everyday, and going to the gym, and caring about your health. Your same old same old changes when you start saving the bank instead of breaking the bank.

You get what you put out. You are, how you act. If you constantly are thinking about this big mountain you have to climb to becoming everything you wanted to be, and constantly remind yourself of how hard it is, and how difficult it will be, then guess what sis, you’re not climbing anything, and you’re not going anywhere anytime soon. But if you can believe that no matter what, no matter how big, no matter how long it’s going to take that you will conquer this thing, you will conquer it. When you put in the work, your energy shouldn’t be that of, “Oh i’m putting in the work to hopefully make this dream come true.” NO SIS. It has to be, “I’m putting in the work, because this dream is coming true regardless, and the work has to be done anyway.” You see how the energy was shifted to something positive? If you’re saying I have to be sexy by summer and I wan’t to look good naked, you don’t get up everyday and say,”Well at some point i have to go to the gym today because i really want to look good naked.” You get up and say, “ I am going to the gym today, because this is how I have to maintain looking good naked.” Again – you’ve gone from a place of wanting, to a place of “I already have this.” This is attraction. This is manifesting. This is speaking things into existence.

Because It’s Oprah

I don’t know if ya’ll have ever heard Oprah’s story about how she got her role in The Color Purple, but I thought it was so fascinating, and such a true testament to how if you can see it in your mind, you can achieve it in real life. Oprah had read The Color Purple when it first came out, and absolutely fell in love with Miss Sophia. When reading the book she said, “THIS IS ME. I AM MISS SOPHIA.” And she said she read the book 3 times, that’s how much she loved it, that’s how much she felt the love of the character Miss Sophia, and she completely threw herself into this book. She said she was so into it, that she bought the book for everyone she knew, gave the book out to other people so that they can read it, and she was so passionate about The Color Purple. She said she believed in her heart that that character Miss Sophia was her. And she didn’t know what that meant, but she just knew, that if this book became bigger than just a book (which it did) that she was Miss Sophia.

So Oprah goes to what she called a fat farm to loose weight, this is when the Oprah show was just starting to kick off. She said she had no idea who Steven Spielberg was, she didn’t know any movie directors, or casting agents, no one. She just had her talk show in Chicago. She was running on the track in the rain, singing “I Surrender” and in prayer, and she got a phone call, and she took the phone call and it was Steven Spielberg asking her if she could fly to LA to do a reading for the Miss Sophia role. And turns out, Quincy Jones, was in his hotel room really late one night in Chicago, and was channel surfing, and Oprah’s show talk show was running an episode, and he when he saw her, he said, “That’s my Miss Sophia.”

Ya’ll – I don’t know if ya’ll knew that story, but Oprah has talked about it many times. But WOW. Oprah knew like she knew, like she KNEW that she was Miss Sophia, and then boom…a phone call changed her entire life, she got the role, the movie is still being played today on TV, and now Oprah has become the woman she is today.


A Similar Story

Flashback to 2017, my mom was going to Jamaica with some friends, and I had every intention of going with them. I put down my deposit, and started preparing myself to go. This was before Slay Girl Slay, I was still living at home with her, and just wanted to get away. I remember like it was yesterday, I looked up at my vision board, which had all these pictures of palm trees, and LA, and moving trucks, I said, “Mom – I don’t think I’ll be able to go, I’m going to be moving at that time.” The trip was planned for April 20th or 21st of 2018. It was like October 2017 when we were having this conversation. I said mom i can’t go because I’m going to be moving. And she said okay, no worries, she didn’t look at me like I was crazy, she didn’t ask me any questions, she just said okay.

Ya’ll I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have any type of ties to LA, nothing! But I knew, like I knew, like I knew that I was going to be moving. And every step after that, every interaction I had after that with others, was this idea that I was about to move. I would be asked to go on future trips, or make plans for that time with other family members and friends, but i’d announce that I couldn’t go, because I was moving.

“Do you have a job?” Nope.
“Do you know someone out there?” Nope.
“How do you know you’re moving?” I just know.

Low and behold, because I was putting that energy out there that I was moving. That it was happening, and when I applied to jobs, even if I got rejected, I still knew that I was going to get one. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t upset, when I got rejection emails, because I knew that one of them was going to work. I wasn’t sad or upset when I started looking at apartments out here, and the rent was sky high and I couldn’t afford it, but I looked anyway. But I made a list of places I wanted to live anyway, because I knew that there was a way that was going to be made for me to be here. I was UNWAVERING in my belief that this dream of mines was going to come true. I was relentless in my positive thinking. I would not dare let the thoughts and opinions of other people make me feel like I was crazy, or that what I wanted wasn’t coming forth – I knew like I knew like I knew. My mom left for Jamaica on April 20th, 2018. I moved to LA on April 25th. It is that real sis.


Spirituality & Manifestation

I understand that there can be a gray area, when it comes to the idea of manifestation, and attracting things into your life, and I try not to focus on the grey area so much, because I like to focus on the black and the white. I was brought up with prayer, I was taught to seek God first in everything that I do. And I’m not here to preach to you or sway you to believe in something you might not believe in. That’s not my job. But it is my responsibility to tell you my story, and how through prayer and seeking God first, I’ve seen some of the most incredible things happen in my life and in the lives of others. And something has to be said about experiencing this type of faith, because it’s mind blowing. It’s not by chance. It’s not by luck. It is by faith.

Vibration & High Frequency

Would Oprah have landed her role as Miss Sophia if she had gone through her day to day, like she wasn’t good enough? Thinking how the heck was that going to happen for her? If she had subscribed to the negativity, of others, and even herself cuz ya’ll know our own minds can play jedi mind tricks, would she be the person she is today? I honestly don’t think so. If I had subscribed to the constant looks of disbelief, or when people looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was moving to LA and I didn’t even have a job or really knew anyone out here for the matter, would I have moved…probably not.

What Do you Want? & How Do You Get Yourself To That Level of Want

My question to you boo is, what are subscribing to these days? What are you choosing to let in? Is it positive? Are you unwavering in your belief that what you want in your life will happen for you? Or are you teeter tottering with the idea that  maybe it can happen, but maybe it wont. Are you thinking maybe I’m cut out for it, but maybe I’m not. Yeah we all get that little voice in our head that will counteract any idea we have , but are you subscribing to it?

I encourage you to look at your goals as a whole, and think about the mindset you have to have to make these goals a reality. Think about what you will choose to subscribe to mentally and emotionally, and what you will not. Think about the decisions you have to make everyday, to become whatever these goals are. Is it confident? Is it having more knowledge on a topic? Is it discipline? Is it consistency? Whatever it is, make up in your mind, that, THAT is the only thing that you will choose to subscribe to, and anything after today that is not that – you won’t even give it a second thought.

You Are What You Speak & What You Listen To

My dad and I were on a the phone one night, and I was telling him about this celery juice craze, that’s like if you drink a certain amount of ounces a day, it will basically cure anything. And my dad is very hard to persuade, which can be a blessing and a curse lol, but I thought it was because he was insanely stubborn to new ideas, but what he said that night stuck with me, and I think about it every single day. He said, the worst thing you can do is give someone or something control over your mind and your thoughts. Don’t be so gullible. Stop listening to what everybody is saying all the time. Don’t you realize that most people just talk because they want to be heard? If you can control your mind, control your thoughts, and make decisions based on the knowledge that YOU have, based on the facts that YOU have, you can do anything. Don’t let the power of someone else tongue, change your life. Let the power of your own tongue, change your life.

You are what you attract boo. You want good, put good out. Put good in everything you do, so what i you hate your job and the people you work with. Say good morning, speak up in the meeting, get there on time, have a positive attitude, do your work accurately, and I guarantee you – good things will start happening to you. You want people to support you & your business? Stop looking for it. Stop asking people. Stop fake supporting someone else because you want them to support you in the future. Put your head down, put in good work into your business. Know like you know like you know, that the right people will find you – and I guarantee you they will. The support will come.


In an episode last year I talked about having Positive Vibes Only – or what I deemed PVO, and I’d like to challenge all of you this week to have a PVO mindset. A positive vibes only mindset. That means starting right now, as you are listening, you will only listen to and subscribe to any and everything positive. Positive thoughts when you wake up, positive thoughts when you’re eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Positive words when speaking to others. Positive feelings when you do things you don’t necessarily want to do. If you’re having a conversation with others and they are speaking negative about something or someone, cutting them short and asking them to change the subject.

PVO all week ya’ll, and watch how everything shifts. I’m doing it too. This week I want you to be so mindful about letting only the positivity in, when it comes to your every day life, your goals, your job, the people you have relationships with, any and everything positive, from now until next Monday when we meet again, and watch how much the game is going to change this week. Check in with us on our social media channels, use the hashtag #pvochallenge when you check in so I can see you, and let’s do this ya’ll. I am not playing. I want you to be so positive this week, that literally anything and everything that comes your way, will be brushed off like it was nothing.

You are what you attract sis, and starting now, we’re attracting, manifesting, believing, and having faith in all the good things that we wan’t for ourselves. The positive vibes…start….now.

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I believe that no matter what barriers, road blocks, or mind traps we have infront of us - we can still go far and achieve the things we want to achieve. I believe that the dreams & goals we have aren't just placed in our hearts by chance. There is a reason they are there. I'm here to help you figure that out.

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I'm Ashley, host of the SGS Podcast, advice giver, and best friend in your head.

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